Part of a Balanced Sexfest

As happy we are with our results here, we can't shake the nagging feeling that this guy was messing with us. If he was for real, I hope he is locked away in an institution. His enthusiasm was hilarious but he was so willing to go along with the ridiculousness of our requests that we tired of him quickly.

[bigcockJP69] i love cosplay
[MistressSylvia] OMG
[MistressSylvia] fav genre?? mine is cereal mascots
[bigcockJP69] ooooo never thought of that one
[bigcockJP69] thats fucking hot though
[bigcockJP69] sorry lost train of thought lol
[MistressSylvia] omg hot train
[MistressSylvia] tamale train!!! LMBO
[bigcockJP69] i gotta go with cartoon characters, i know its normal but i love it
[bigcockJP69] lmfao
[MistressSylvia] thats still fuckin hot
[bigcockJP69] extremely
[MistressSylvia] do u want to try cereal meets cartoon
[bigcockJP69] oooo love that idea
[MistressSylvia] you can pick whatever you want to do
[MistressSylvia] i want to be dig'em, the frog who represents Honey Smacks Cereal
[bigcockJP69] YES!
[bigcockJP69] love it
[MistressSylvia] who are your favs?
[bigcockJP69] thundercats :)
[MistressSylvia] whos ur fav cat
[bigcockJP69] ohhhh tough choice
[bigcockJP69] gotta go with lion-o though
[MistressSylvia] i like it, where should the location be?
[MistressSylvia] im thinking craft supply store
[MistressSylvia] like im there to get a new patch for my hat
[bigcockJP69] yes
[bigcockJP69] ok u want me to be working there?
[bigcockJP69] or just so happen to come in when u do?
[MistressSylvia] i like my thunder cats working
[bigcockJP69] ok cool,
[bigcockJP69] welcome to my humble supply store
[MistressSylvia] You want some honey smacks?!!!!
[bigcockJP69] maybe later, dont step on snarf!!
[MistressSylvia] ok, I'm here looking for assorted buttons and styrofoam balls, can you point me in the right direction??
[bigcockJP69] oh yes of course, follow me, i walk down the aisles here we are big assorted buttons and styrofoam is just another aisle over
[MistressSylvia] so how does a hot cat like you ed up working at a place like this? *smacks lips*
[bigcockJP69] blushes a lil, tail tucks between my legs, well just doing this for some extra cash you know. what else can i get for you today? i look at u up and down
[MistressSylvia] well...*i adjust the collar of my green pleather jacket*
[MistressSylvia] u may have noticed....im not wearing any pants
[bigcockJP69] i blush again. yes i did notice but im not gonna lie, i like it
[MistressSylvia] can you direct me to the fabric aisle so I can make some pants
[bigcockJP69] of course, just down here, i walk and point it out to you and have someone else watch the counter so i can talk with you
[MistressSylvia] so what kind of milk do you take in your cereal....YUM YUM SUGAR SMACKS HONEY GOODNESS
[bigcockJP69] whole milk its all i drink, THUNDERCATSSS!!!!!!!!
[MistressSylvia] yea boy!!! none of that nonfat crap!! *i massage my round frog tummay*
[bigcockJP69] YES i agree i reach out and rub ur tummy, and pull back, oooops sorry i got caught up in the moment
[MistressSylvia] i pull back, knowing i will someday smack you honey sweet
[MistressSylvia] with my wooden spoon
[MistressSylvia] for now
[MistressSylvia] fabrics
[bigcockJP69] oh yes yes, right here oh sounds like i need to help if u need me just holler for me, i run off embarrassed
[MistressSylvia] i browse the many varieties
[MistressSylvia] feeling with my green, slimy honey coated paw the sensual velvets
[MistressSylvia] the hot courderoys
[MistressSylvia] the silky silks
[bigcockJP69] i keep staring down the aisle at you can take my eyes off ur green skin
[MistressSylvia] i call you over
[MistressSylvia] too many fabrics
[MistressSylvia] how can i pick
[MistressSylvia] can you help me?
[bigcockJP69] ill do my best i smile at you
[bigcockJP69] the golden silk its perfect
[bigcockJP69] By the power of Jaga... Sword of Omens, come to my hand. I, Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats, command it!
[MistressSylvia] * i run through the aisles* THERE IS A RAPTOR SHOPPING HERE
[MistressSylvia] quick, get into a room with doors!! dinosaurs cant open doors
[bigcockJP69] ahhhhhh i run and lock the door
[bigcockJP69] r u ok? that was close
[bigcockJP69] Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight!
[MistressSylvia] yeah just a little shaken
[bigcockJP69] ok good i reach over and put my arm around u, ur shaking
[MistressSylvia] ri...rii...ribbit.....
[bigcockJP69] its ok im here now, dont worry getting closer to u, THUNDERCATS HOOOO!!!!!
[MistressSylvia] arent you worried youll catch warts
[MistressSylvia] that stops all the cute cats
[MistressSylvia] normally...
[bigcockJP69] not me
[bigcockJP69] for i have the sword of omens!!
[MistressSylvia] what are you going to do with that sword of omens.. CRISP IN MILK
[bigcockJP69] it helps me see the truth and it protects me from any disease and/or anything that might harm me, so i can be as close to u as i want
[MistressSylvia] that's so romantic, *my cheeks expand to globular proportions* STICKY RICE SNACKS
[bigcockJP69] i smile at you i love the way ur cheeks expand, SNARF GO AWAY
[MistressSylvia] i touch your furry paw PART OF A BALNCED BREAKFAST
[bigcockJP69] i blush again, THUNDERCATS!!!!!!, i look at you, my eyes gazing into urs
[MistressSylvia] ribbit just do it ribbit
[MistressSylvia] HONEY GOODNESS
[bigcockJP69] my insincts take over, i cant handle it i lean down and lick ur face
[MistressSylvia] i scream
[MistressSylvia] your sandpapery tongue removes the top layers of skin from my face
[MistressSylvia] my mucousy face
[bigcockJP69] i jump away OMG im so sorry
[MistressSylvia] i cry and leave the room looking for gauze to salve my wounds
[MistressSylvia] but i forget about the raptors
[MistressSylvia] they gore me
[MistressSylvia] spewing my sugary sweetness all over the decoupage glue
[MistressSylvia] do you want to avenge my death and maybe fuck my green, sticky corpse?
[bigcockJP69] mmmmm yes
[MistressSylvia] ghost of dig'em unhappy with dishonoring my memory
[MistressSylvia] goodbye

Sophie's Choose Your Own Adenture

Alex is Jewish. Alex is Jewish. Alex is Jewish. Alex is Jewish. Alex is Jewish. Alex is Jewish.

[skinhead] hello Miss
[skinhead] i am Haris from Greece and i love to serve sexy women like you.I can do whatever you may have in your mind just trying to please you.i love to be nude on cam obaying your orders.
[MistressSylvia] yes yes yes
[skinhead] i really love your perfect photo Miss
[MistressSylvia] wanna roleplay?
[skinhead] what can i do for you Miss to make you happy?
[skinhead] i can do whatever you may ask me Miss
[MistressSylvia] well, you're a skin head
[MistressSylvia] so let's do sophie's choice
[MistressSylvia] i'll be meryl streep and youll be the nazi
[skinhead] yes Miss
[skinhead] i dont know the scene can you help me a little?
[MistressSylvia] ok
[MistressSylvia] well im in the holocaust and have a dead-on polish accent
[MistressSylvia] i have two children
[MistressSylvia] a boy and a girl
[MistressSylvia] we're at a train station waiting for the train to a concentration camp
[MistressSylvia] ok GO
[skinhead] Miss
[MistressSylvia] Vot iz it sir?
[skinhead] sorry?? what that means??
[MistressSylvia] it's my polish accent, silly nazi
[MistressSylvia] (What is it sir?)
[skinhead] i am Miss silly Miss
[skinhead] show me your passport
[MistressSylvia] bot...bot i dont hav it veeth me....
[skinhead] leave your kids here and follow me
[MistressSylvia] vill thiz be prvoblem?? *holds kids closer*
[MistressSylvia] o ok
[skinhead] come on
[skinhead] move on
[skinhead] stop here, open your bag
[skinhead] what are you doing??
[MistressSylvia] iz am vispering to my children
[MistressSylvia] ze vant to know vat vill happen
[MistressSylvia] to zem
[MistressSylvia] please dont make me choose
[MistressSylvia] i cannot choose!
*** skinhead has gone offline.

Gimme (Michael) Moore

This night, Alex and I discovered that the "taboo" chat room is not a good place to find victims. They will go along with anything, and I mean anything. Can you see the way he's trying to swoon sexual favors out of Michael Moore? Also, he is clearly a supporter of Wal-Mart's oppressive pricing.


[grunthunt] hello, i am looking for dominant lady, might you be the one??
[MistressSylvia] i am if you're into kinky, kiny rp
[grunthunt] yes plz mistress
[grunthunt] where would mistress like to start ?
[MistressSylvia] yes
[MistressSylvia] Detroit
[MistressSylvia] i'm an obese documentary film maker in a blighted urban part of the city
[MistressSylvia] you are an out of work Ford worker
[MistressSylvia] so, what's it like living in Clint, Michigan
[grunthunt] very depressing ...looking for an escape
[grunthunt] will travel anywhere, do aanything i mean anything to get away
[MistressSylvia] would you say that the position you find yourself in at this present time was brought on by forces beyond your control? say, George W. Bush and his White House?
[grunthunt] oh yes definately, and there don't seem to give a damn about putting it right
[MistressSylvia] what would you say if I told you I was going to give you the opportunity to trade places with them for a day?
[grunthunt] oh i would be overjoyed...
[grunthunt] he grin widely
[grunthunt] could you really do that
[MistressSylvia] *scenes from various opressive work places flash across your screen*
[MistressSylvia] now were at walmart headquarters
[grunthunt] wow some place this....
[grunthunt] beats there dontown shops anyday
[MistressSylvia] do you know who stocked these shelves
[MistressSylvia] children
[MistressSylvia] children without hands
[MistressSylvia] retarded children without hands
*** grunthunt has gone offline

A Trip Across the Pond

Alex and I decided to do a British-government themed roleplay when a quick inspection of this fellow's profile informed us that he resided in the U.K. It also informed us that he had a very large penis.

[MistressSylvia] wanna rp?
[simonthelegend] what do u like babe?
[MistressSylvia] well considering how amazing your cock is
[MistressSylvia] wanna be a Master of Parliament?
[MistressSylvia] and i'll be a constituent
[MistressSylvia] then the Prime Minister listening to your problem
[simonthelegend] sounds good babe
[MistressSylvia] oh yeah
[MistressSylvia] tell me what your office is like, Master of Parliament
[simonthelegend] large office with white walls, big old wooden desk
right in the middle, big window behind the desk
[MistressSylvia] oh yeah...
[MistressSylvia] Hello, Sir
[simonthelegend] hello
[MistressSylvia] sir, my village is in complete shambles
[MistressSylvia] what will you do about it?
[MistressSylvia] i'm a mid-40s frumpy housefrau with a light mustache and a mop
[simonthelegend] well i have a few options to consider
[simonthelegend] but at the moment ur village has not much to offer me
[simonthelegend] but im sure u and me can work somthing out
[MistressSylvia] i fuck you hard and long
[MistressSylvia] we finish
[MistressSylvia] now what can you do about my village?
[simonthelegend] i will go to the pm, we will be looking at investing
in a big sporting event to bring in new revanue
[MistressSylvia] oh yeah
[MistressSylvia] that makes me bloomers all ruffled
[simonthelegend] is there any thing else i can help u with wile ur here?
[MistressSylvia] that's all
[MistressSylvia] best of luck with the PM
[MistressSylvia] I leave
[simonthelegend] a wile later i come to ur house, knock knock at the door
[MistressSylvia] hi simon!
[MistressSylvia] welcome
[MistressSylvia] any news?
[simonthelegend] great news the pm is willing to invest in the town,
they are starting the work on the roads and paths in the next few
weeks

A Spicy Chat

We tried this scenario on about five people before we found someone who actually knew who Sotomayor was. We are impressed by how much political opinion he spewed at us in an effort to meet us in our "chambers" later.

[readytogonow123] hey there
[MistressSylvia] AMERICA!!!
[readytogonow123] FUCK YEAH!!!
[readytogonow123] wanna chat?:
[MistressSylvia] wanna rp?
[readytogonow123] what scene?
[MistressSylvia] ok
[MistressSylvia] you're under consideration for the position of chief
justice of the united states
[MistressSylvia] a wise latina you are
[MistressSylvia] im a member of congress
[MistressSylvia] ready for some hardcore no holds barred questions
[readytogonow123] sure
[MistressSylvia] Ms. Sotomayor, why are you so sexy?
[readytogonow123] si
[readytogonow123] well...i keep in shape...and come from an attractive
colubian family
[MistressSylvia] oh si si si
[MistressSylvia] I can see that
[MistressSylvia] Do you think Obama is hot?
[readytogonow123] well...not as attractive as you mam...i just wanna
say," i will do ANYTHING you ask for this position"
[MistressSylvia] oooh yes
[readytogonow123] i mean i will e your slave for this
[MistressSylvia] So what case would you cite most often for precedence?
[readytogonow123] brown v. board of education
[MistressSylvia] OMG IM SO HOT
[MistressSylvia] I LOVE desegregation
[MistressSylvia] we'll have to meet in my chambers after these proceedings
[readytogonow123] oh yes mam
[MistressSylvia] What's the first thing you'd do if you got th position?
[readytogonow123] decriminalize drug consumption
[readytogonow123] i would really like to speak privately with you in
your office for a feew minutes congress woman, if that isn't
inappropriate
[MistressSylvia] Decriminalize drug consumption!
[MistressSylvia] so you're an activist judge?
[MistressSylvia] isn't your job in the consitution to interpret the law
[MistressSylvia] not make it, Ms. Sotomayor
[MistressSylvia] ISN"T IT?
[readytogonow123] so that is would be easier to police...my job would
be to enforce the laws in a way that promote the most general welfare
[readytogonow123] interpret the laws
[readytogonow123] can we move on
[MistressSylvia] no
[MistressSylvia] explain yourself Ms. Sotomayor
[MistressSylvia] if you explain yourself, i will fuck you
[readytogonow123] drug consumption being illegal just maintain a high
price on the street, if you were to legalize possession and use in
smmall amounts, you could then use police resources to secure more
drug trafficing/trafficers
[readytogonow123] also dropping the price of drugs
[readytogonow123] who would sell them if there was no money in it?
[MistressSylvia] activist judge!
[MistressSylvia] unfit
[MistressSylvia] UNFIT
[MistressSylvia] I bid you good day

Proper Skin Care

We felt really bad when we were checking his profile photo after we blocked him and discovered he actually is acne-encrusted.

[MistressSylvia] a ok
[MistressSylvia] u?
[dom guy] i'm great thanks
[dom guy] i take it you're dom?
[MistressSylvia] I french house?
[dom guy] ?? i meant ae you dominant
[MistressSylvia] OH silly me
[dom guy] are u?
[MistressSylvia] yes i am dominant right now i am actually wearing a latex suit with several hundred metal spikes embedded in it
[MistressSylvia] i use it to punish my slaves
[MistressSylvia] one hug and they never talk back again
[MistressSylvia] Wanna role play
[dom guy] sure thing
[dom guy] would love to see that suit
[MistressSylvia] someday...
[MistressSylvia] for now roleplay
[dom guy] sure
[dom guy] what story do you want to tell?
[MistressSylvia] mall proactive skin care hawker/ mall goer
[dom guy] ok
[dom guy] although not sure what you mean lol
[MistressSylvia] which do u wat
[MistressSylvia] ok so the proactiv skin care specialist will be istting at a kiosk at a local mall trying to get teenage girls to try their acne regimen
[MistressSylvia] and the customer will be an acne encrusted young teen
[MistressSylvia] but not too yung lol
[dom guy] ah i see
[dom guy] yeh
[MistressSylvia] who do you wanna be?
[dom guy] i'll be the submissive, you can decide which role u are
[MistressSylvia] ok im the skin care specialist
[MistressSylvia] you are the pubescent teen
[dom guy] ok
[dom guy] go ahead
[MistressSylvia] Excuse me sir, have you heard about proactiv?
[dom guy] no madam
[dom guy] what is it?
[MistressSylvia] Proactiv Solution is an over-the-counter topical benzoyl peroxide-based bactericidal for the treatment of mild to moderate forms of acne.
[dom guy] oh and would it help me?
[MistressSylvia] Would it ever!!
[MistressSylvia] it's a simple three step regimen!!
[MistressSylvia] i can show you how if you'd just have a seat over here
[dom guy] ok * i sit down*
[MistressSylvia] *I put on an apro*
[MistressSylvia] *and tie a bib around your neck*
[MistressSylvia] JFirst I'm going to apply the cleanser
[dom guy] ok
[MistressSylvia] *I pour a small amount in my hand--about the size of a dime*
[dom guy] *i relax and put my head back*
[MistressSylvia] *I rub it on your face, dabbing even amounts on your chin, cheeks, and forehead--the 'hot zone' as I call it*
[MistressSylvia] I massage gently
[MistressSylvia] How does that feel? I'm trying to be as entle as possible so as not to irritate the acne
[dom guy] thats great, feels refreshing
[MistressSylvia] Oh good!
[MistressSylvia] *i rub to completion and then splash warm water to rinse it*
[MistressSylvia] The next step is toner
[MistressSylvia] *I tkae a cotton ball and squirt the contents of the bottle onto it*
[MistressSylvia] Ready?
[dom guy] tell me where does a sexy girl like you live? i attempt
[MistressSylvia] Downtown. Are you ready for toner?
[dom guy] sorry i grin, yes i am
[MistressSylvia] I rub it gently across your face in slow, sensual circles
[dom guy] hmm feels good
[dom guy] you're good with your hands...
[MistressSylvia] Thank you, I went to ITT Tech
[MistressSylvia] They taught me everything I know
[dom guy] good
[MistressSylvia] I'm just going to let the toner sink in while I tidy up my station. You sit tight.
[dom guy] ok
[MistressSylvia] I call from the other side of the station "is it starting to tingle?"
[dom guy] yeh... feels cold
[MistressSylvia] Uh, ok i should rinse you off
[dom guy] ok
[MistressSylvia] I hurry over, trying to hide the worry in my expression
[MistressSylvia] *What have I done? I shouldnt havel et myself get distracted*
[MistressSylvia] I splash water over your face, frantically
[dom guy] whats up?
[MistressSylvia] How does it feel?
[dom guy] fine, slightly numb though
[MistressSylvia] OH SHIT
[dom guy] why whats wrong/
[MistressSylvia] I pack my things away and hurry off, looking over my shoulder. I pull my collar up to hide my features as I disappear through the front doors. Forever.
*** dom guy has gone offline.

The Number 25

An enemy of Pikachu's is an enemy of mine.

[Kie6Lee] hey there
[MistressSylvia] what's new pikachu?
*** Kie6Lee has gone offline.

Apple Genius

The white sterility. The smooth contours. The brushed chrome. The smell of Pretzel Time wafting from the food court. Who wouldn't want to do it in an Apple Store? Oh yeah...

[hitchy294] so do you want to cosplay?
[MistressSylvia] YES
[hitchy294] ok
[hitchy294] what cos
[hitchy294] ?
[MistressSylvia] Apple genius bar employee and an unsatisfied customer?
[hitchy294] ok
[hitchy294] whos who
[hitchy294] ??
[hitchy294] helo?
[MistressSylvia] ill be the employee
[hitchy294] ok
[MistressSylvia] i kno a lot about computers *devil horns appear* *and fire* *and a crow*
[MistressSylvia] How can I help you today sir?
[hitchy294] exscuse me but my appletini has to mutch tini and a dead fly in it
[MistressSylvia] No, silly
[MistressSylvia] the apple genius bar
[MistressSylvia] for tech support for apple computer and ipods
[MistressSylvia] not a literal bar
[MistressSylvia] i don't drink
[MistressSylvia] im a mormon
[hitchy294] ok the apple bar as in apple mac
[MistressSylvia] YES!
[hitchy294] ok
[hitchy294] go
[MistressSylvia] oh hello sir how are you today? i see you brought your mac mini with you
[hitchy294] yes i was quite unsatifide with the mac minis speed and peformance maby you could help me correct this
[hitchy294] ?#
[MistressSylvia] oh yes of course
[MistressSylvia] let me just...take it from you...my hand grazes yours....
[hitchy294] * i look up from it to see you looking into my eyes*
[hitchy294] erm so how will this be done
[MistressSylvia] first i need to remove the top
[MistressSylvia] i take out my screwdriver, my gaze never leaving yours
[hitchy294] oh i see its an internal problem * i feel a gerk in my stomach as you look at me , then a man walks behind and knocks me forward over your desk*
[MistressSylvia] Excuse me sir. Please leave the store or ill have to call security
[MistressSylvia] he leaves
[MistressSylvia] i start to run a diagnostics test
[hitchy294] so its just us 2 erm whers all the other employes?
[MistressSylvia] they're running an info session in the front on uploading photos to iphoto
[hitchy294] i see so... * i walk behind the desk looking at your hair and then as you look turn swiftly to be looking at the computer screen infront of you*
[MistressSylvia] i look over my shoulder and sigh
[MistressSylvia] i just can't get any work done
[MistressSylvia] I'M SO HORNY
[MistressSylvia] but i can't think about that right now
[MistressSylvia] Please go back to the stool
[MistressSylvia] on the other side of the desk
[hitchy294] * urgh after seeing her im so hot for it * erm so i see your in i.t.
[hitchy294] i leave the back of the desk
[hitchy294] i sit down
[hitchy294] thers not many women in i.t. today what made you want to go into i.t.
[hitchy294] ?
[MistressSylvia] I love helping people!!
[MistressSylvia] And I really want to go into programming someday
[MistressSylvia] this is just a stepping stone postion
[MistressSylvia] sorry the diagnostic test is taking so long
[MistressSylvia] so where you from?
[hitchy294] * hmm wonder if she could help me* me im from the uk orgiany but moved to the usa in 2005
[hitchy294] what about you i can tell your not from around here
[MistressSylvia] i grew up in phoenix
[MistressSylvia] i moved to forks when i was 16
[hitchy294] i see
[hitchy294] so youve stayed out here all your life
[hitchy294] ?
[MistressSylvia] Yes. I like it alot
[MistressSylvia] wow diagnostic test done
[MistressSylvia] wow
[MistressSylvia] you have a major RAM deficiency
[MistressSylvia] can i help you with our upgrade options?
[hitchy294] ok do we need more parnts for it then?
[hitchy294] parts*
[MistressSylvia] yes, a major ram upgrade
[MistressSylvia] let me get you the brochure
[hitchy294] oh so where are the parts?
[MistressSylvia] they're in my bra
[MistressSylvia] it's a little sharp, but i think they're safe there
[MistressSylvia] so what do you use your mac mini for
[MistressSylvia] that will help me decide the best upgrade, depending on your usage
[hitchy294] surfing and whatching movies
[hitchy294] mainly
[MistressSylvia] about two gigs then
[hitchy294] ok wis there some sort of storge coubord in here then
[MistressSylvia] yes!
[MistressSylvia] i cant fit everything in here silly badily
[hitchy294] wellil come with you to get it to make sure im not being cheted
[MistressSylvia] that's against store policy
[MistressSylvia] i can assure you i won't do anything to cheat you
[MistressSylvia] you can even price compare at other locations to confirm that
[hitchy294] but theres no one in here ill keep you company
[MistressSylvia] they're in front
[MistressSylvia] the presentation should be over
[hitchy294] * i neeed to get to the storge coubord with her to kiss her*
[MistressSylvia] outrageous
[MistressSylvia] i yell and interrupt the iphoto tutorial
[MistressSylvia] our iphoto genius stomps over and demands an an explanation from you, camera cords dangling from his pale limbs
[hitchy294] well she nice and i was going to ask her on a date sir im sorry if i have offened anyone
[hitchy294] ?
[MistressSylvia] It's ok.
[MistressSylvia] We can have a date, but I don't want to mix my work with my love life
[MistressSylvia] please wait till I get off work and we'll go to Pretzel Time (tm) together
[hitchy294] thanks now can we upgrade my mini mac ... im so ashamed why did i say that...
[MistressSylvia] it's ok
[MistressSylvia] happens all the time
[hitchy294] ok
[hitchy294] thanks for understanding
[hitchy294] so what time are you off?
[MistressSylvia] 8:15
[hitchy294] so in 20 mins il just hang around for you
[MistressSylvia] ok
[MistressSylvia] btw i rp in real time
[MistressSylvia] *I help another customer with an ipod shuffle that only plays Enya*
[hitchy294] ok
[hitchy294] * i hope she dosent blow out on me i hope this girls for realy !*
[MistressSylvia] I love enya, my pussy is getting so wet
[hitchy294] hmm wonder if i can get her to like me unlike evryother girl!
[MistressSylvia] I rub myself as "Ornoco Flow" pumps through the portable egg-shaped speakers I have set up on my desk to test the sound quality of products like these
[hitchy294] thinking to himself *i love that sont but it alays make me horny*
[MistressSylvia] Man,m I wish I knew that, but im helping this other customer
[hitchy294] i hope shes i nice girl tonight
[MistressSylvia] I wonder if he likes waffles

grandma's hair

[WOW111] sorry
[MistressSylvia] why is that?
[WOW111] it said u were busy
[MistressSylvia] just washing gran's hair
[MistressSylvia] comditioning now
[MistressSylvia] should be done in a sec
[WOW111] lol its okay
[WOW111] u back?
[MistressSylvia] OMG gtg
[MistressSylvia] it all fell out
[MistressSylvia] all her hair
[MistressSylvia] it's just a wet tangle on the floor as cold and unknowable as gran's heart
[MistressSylvia] ttyl, hot ass
[WOW111] babe wait
[MistressSylvia] okb ut the wig shop closes in 15 minutes i need to catch the trolley
[WOW111] send a kiss to my cock
*** WOW111 has sent you a friend request. Accept or reject in profile tab.
[MistressSylvia] poof
[MistressSylvia] i sent it
[MistressSylvia] tell me if it gets there
[WOW111] huh?
[WOW111] im a poof?

Punny Cheers

Where everybody know your name...because you're a damn whore. 

[Jthewoad] sorry for bothering ya..just took a look at your profile.
[Jthewoad] Witty and smart. Nice combo
[MistressSylvia] I do love a good pun
[MistressSylvia] Tell me one while i rub my clit
[MistressSylvia] i REALLY love them...mmmm
[Jthewoad] A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
[Jthewoad] A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
[Jthewoad] mind if I jerk off over you as you rub your clit?
[Jthewoad] Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
[Jthewoad] more?
[MistressSylvia] OMG
[MistressSylvia] OMG
[MistressSylvia] ok im there
[MistressSylvia] ur so punny
[MistressSylvia] what can i do for ewe, lamby
[Jthewoad] lol
[Jthewoad] just was admiring you is all
[Jthewoad] same to you
[MistressSylvia] is that a renaisance fair you're at? [in profile photo]
[Jthewoad] Yes it was.
[Jthewoad] Go every year.
[MistressSylvia] omg
[MistressSylvia] i went as zelda once
[MistressSylvia] do u want to roleplay
[Jthewoad] Sure
[Jthewoad] Do you have something in mind?
[Jthewoad] started without me did ya?~grins and chuckles~
[MistressSylvia] *blushes and pushes bangs behind cat ears*
* Jthewoad smiles larger and reveals canines..
* Jthewoad shakes his head...started without me and I don't even get to hear you..tsk tsk
[Jthewoad] Bad little kitty..Might have to punish you
[MistressSylvia] meow...oh no..meow
[MistressSylvia] *claws come out*
* Jthewoad chuckles and growls playfully...so did you start without me?
[MistressSylvia] Yes, Cheers just came on...and so did i

I just can't relate to the otter

What's the baby otter suckin' on? His bottle! 

[cakeboy1989] i want you to get on your knees and worship my cock
[mistresssylvia] tell me what it looks like so i can construct a totem
[mistresssylvia] describe it baby
[mistresssylvia] but only with adverbs
[cakeboy1989] smooth, nice round head
[mistresssylvia] like a baby!
[cakeboy1989] 6 inchs
[cakeboy1989] nice round balls
[cakeboy1989] a little curve
[mistresssylvia] how many balls?
[cakeboy1989] 2 round balls in my sack
[mistresssylvia] that's good that hey are round
[mistresssylvia] my great-uncle's were pyramidal
[cakeboy1989] they are kinda swollen a lil, havnt jerkd ina couple of days
[mistresssylvia] um, you should get some talcum powder
[cakeboy1989] think you can help me out? they are just cum filld
[mistresssylvia] ya just take it out and give it some nice long strokes
[mistresssylvia] pretend its a newborn sea otter whose mother abandoned it
[cakeboy1989] any chance you could give me cyber head or talk dirty? that always help when i jerk off
[mistresssylvia] ok
[mistresssylvia] im a marine biologist
[mistresssylvia] i just found the baby otter (your penis)
[cakeboy1989] ok...kinda confused
[cakeboy1989] so your going to help out this baby otter?
[mistresssylvia] i rub it
[mistresssylvia] and kiss its head
[mistresssylvia] its so soft
[mistresssylvia] it tastes so salty
[mistresssylvia] like sea water
[cakeboy1989] it feels good
[cakeboy1989] make this otter feel good
[mistresssylvia] i feed him some fresh shrimp and he tries to open it with a rock on his belly
[cakeboy1989] what???
[mistresssylvia] i stroke his back
[mistresssylvia] faster and faster
[cakeboy1989] are you still helpn me with my cum filled balls?
[mistresssylvia] his whiskers twitch in happiness
[mistresssylvia] your penis is the otter, silly
[cakeboy1989] its just a differ concept thats all bit differnt
[mistresssylvia] i like it different
[cakeboy1989] its kinda hard to follow but i think i got it now
[cakeboy1989] ok please continue
[mistresssylvia] awesome
[mistresssylvia] omg the baby otter can talk
[mistresssylvia] what does it say?
[mistresssylvia] what does the otter want
[mistresssylvia] what makes it happy
[cakeboy1989] being put all the way in your mouth lol
[cakeboy1989] back and belly rub at the same time
[mistresssylvia] im rubbing its belly
[mistresssylvia] and licking the top of his little otter head
[mistresssylvia] and tickling his toes
[mistresssylvia] (ur balls)
[mistresssylvia] furry, furry toes
[cakeboy1989] mmm
[mistresssylvia] the otter moans
[mistresssylvia] i rub him so hard and fast
[mistresssylvia] i want to make it vomit up its prawns
[mistresssylvia] i want shrimp to cover me
[mistresssylvia] so i keep rubbing
[mistresssylvia] his slick oily fur
[mistresssylvia] he was recently rescued from a natural disaster
[cakeboy1989] ya make me nice and wet
[mistresssylvia] its all wet and i can pet it so efficiently now
[mistresssylvia] i give him a hug
[cakeboy1989] my tummy hurts
[mistresssylvia] oh no
[mistresssylvia] i pat your back
[mistresssylvia] harder and harder
[mistresssylvia] but not too hard cause you're a baby
[cakeboy1989] make me a man
[cakeboy1989] this isnt really workn =(
[cakeboy1989] i just cant relate to the otther
[cakeboy1989] otter

cheerios and domination

This is our Grand Compilation of posts where people blocked us as close to immediately as possible.

[cong] hey :D
[mistresssylvia] hi there
[mistresssylvia] what's your favorite breakfast cereal?
[cong] you alright babe
[mistresssylvia] honestly, no
[cong] hmm anything really
[mistresssylvia] my grandpa's really sick
[cong] and probably cheerioes
[cong] oh dear
[mistresssylvia] OMG
[mistresssylvia] CHEERIOS ARE M FAVRITE
[cong] you jokin right :o
[mistresssylvia] i use them as nipple frames
[mistresssylvia] then have my cat, frank, eat them off


[jbon1083]hey babe are you into domination
[mistresssylvia] um who isn’t LOL
[jbon1083] well ill let you do anything to me ill let you tie me up ill be your little slave boy
[jbon1083] i have a cam, if ur interested
[mistresssylvia] I sat on my cam and it broke but id love 2 caht
[jbon1083] well we culd chat and u can watch me on the camera how does that sound babe
[mistresssylvia] ooo real good baby let me go get ready
[jbon1083] sure what do you need to do =)
[jbon1083] u there babe?
[mistresssylvia] sorry mama was calling
[mistresssylvia] im already for u now
[jbon1083] o yea tell me about how ur ready
[jbon1083] hello? Still there? =)
[mistresssylvia] sorry mamma fell out of her wehel chair
[mistresssylvia] I told her not t baother me when im in here but does she ever listen????
[jbon1083] o no is she ok
[jbon1083] what r u waering =)
[mistresssylvia] im covered in oil

[districtdynasty] hey there
[mistresssylvia] hey
[mistresssylvia] what dynasty r u from
[mistresssylvia] ?
[mistresssylvia] is it da nasty one
[districtdynasty] of course
[districtdynasty] depending on how nasty you need
[mistresssylvia] r u into cabbage play
[districtdynasty] im into everything
*** districtdynasty has gone offline.